JUNE-AUG 2013 THE IDEAL GUY, and the YOU’LL DO – part 1

Goodness me, nearly TWO YEARS between posts. Well that is about how successful the online dating has been...what ON EARTH is going wrong? Anyhow, here is an update.

Shortly after Mr too-good-to-be-true, I was contacted by the Ideal Guy. I liked the profile so much that I sent a "kiss" back saying 'you've made my day, can't wait to hear from you' and the email exchange was on. Many long emails, but always the feeling that they were structured, not much spontaneity there. But I was half in love with this one before even a telephone conversation.

The suggestion of a M& G arose. The problem here was distance, all 250 km of it. Now I know that folk throw caution to the winds and book plane tickets to go and meet their matches, but that is not really me. Driving 100 km for a coffee is a big deal in my book. I got more and more nervous….and ended up cancelling the date.

Idiot moi, in retrospect. We kept emailing on and off,  and again the topic of meeting came up, this time at my  suggestion. Still too bloody nervous and I crept back in to my bunker.

In the meantime, I had hooked up with a man I had met online. He was almost local being under 200 km away. I needed some action!

Stepping in to the water

April 2013

I am, apparently, a SWOFty. Single woman over 50. It's time to get out on to the midlife dating merry-go -round and see if I still have enough zing left to form some relationships with the opposite sex.

Why a blog?- because I bet I am not the only anxious boomer on the second time around market... I find the whole concept of meeting someone online utterly terrifying. Apparently "everybody" is doing it these days....

So, while out riding with a friend (horses will be the other theme, just a much emotional input there sometimes) she tells me that she has signed up with a dating site to rattle her boyfriend a bit. I did nearly fall off the horse at mention of this extreme action, but to try and look at it from both sides, her boyfriend is married, does push the "rules" and gives little in practical commitment but a lot of talk.

So I go home, log on and sign up. After some wrangling with the website, I realise I must have signed up yonks ago, as there are  a couple of hundred "matches" dating back several months. I thought I'd tidy things up and start deleting the ones at the back, but that took  took too long, so I began from the front. Found one only 4 months old that's in the same town. looks completely reasonable and so I flick off a little greeting, being careful to pick a neutral tone, and scroll on through the list.

Dating merry go round

Hmm... maybe I fell off the Merry go round? Time to get back up and into the playground. So, my launch in to the OD world started VERY well- found that I had a backlog of matches on the EH page and thus started working through in reverse order. It's been quite a job  culling it down to a shortlist of 100 or so! Anyway, there was a match in Wagga - with photo. This guy looked genuine and normal!! Sent a message, got email back...2 weeks later it was time for the first coffee and I could not believe my luck.....silly, silly me as all the initial effort on his behalf, texts, looking forwards to seeing you tonight etc....were totally pointless as after 4 weeks of what I mistakenly viewed as a deepening friendship, I got the flick yesterday with the "it's not working as a couple" line.

So my question to you is: If I was such an unattractive prospect, why wait 4 weeks? I kept myself very nice...anyhow, trying not to let this seem too crushing so watch this space.